Jersey Shore ‘Twilight’ parody truly frightening

By Kim Palacios The preview clip of the Twilight/Jersey Shore parody on Monday’s Good Morning America barely scratched the surface of the debauchery the first two Twilight films would suffer at the hand of the MTV reality show cast. The Good Morning America clip had been a preview of a longer sketch to appear on the Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel special featuring the real cast of Twilight. That hour-long special, “Twilight: Total Eclipse of the Heart” aired last night.

In addition to the widely circulated scene in which Edward saves Bella from an out-of-control van, other parodied scenes from “Twilight” and “New Moon”—including Edward showing Bella his sparkling skin and Bella’s 18th birthday party—are also shown. Added to the repertoire are scenes and events within scenes that never happened in the films, much less Stephenie Meyer’s books. Insinuated are that Jacob is a dog who licks himself clean and lives in an oversized dog house, and that Edward tries (and fails) to change his skin tone via tanning bed.

The highlight of the sketch is when Kimmel himself makes an appearance, playing the part of Chief Swan. In another scene that never happened in thebooks, Bella (played by the infamous Snooki) pleads for Chief Swan to accept her relationship with Edward. “I don’t like that kid, Bella”, an in-character Kimmel scolds gruffly. “But, dad! He’s a totally ripped juice head. And plus, he’s Italian!” argues “Bella”. Kimmel throws a dramatic look and rips off his Ray Bans before delivering the punch line: “Then how come he never smells like garlic?”

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