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Battleship Gets a Teaser Trailer

HollywoodNews.com: I could go on and on about how this represents the pinnacle of what is wrong with the ‘tentpole’ portion of the film industry at the moment. But truth be told, I’m more depressed that Peter Berg chose THIS as his follow up to Hancock (arguably one of the best original superhero pictures of the modern superhero era) and chose not to fill the cast with quirky character actors (think The Core). But no matter, the finished product basically feels like an original (though contrived) invading aliens vs. the US Navy film that slapped the name ‘Battleship’ on its marquee purely for brand name recognition. Which, frankly, if you’re going to adapt a board game (or a theme park ride for that matter), that’s how you do it.

I’m less annoyed at the whole ‘let’s make a movie out of Battleship’ concept that I am at how contrived and generic the picture feels. Peter Berg (who showed real action chops with The Kingdom) seems to be mimicking Michael Bay. The alien threat feels like something out of Transformers (the red and yellow peg-shaped missiles are a nice touch), while the core storyline is pure Armageddon. The only question is not whether Liam Neeson will die at the end (after giving Taylor Kitsch approval to wed his daughter, Brooklyn Decker), but whether Neeson’s last words will be “You sunk my battleship!” This one comes out May 18th, 2012, which is actually prime summer real estate, in apparently glorious 2D.

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