Cable Carnivore

By Malina Saval I’m a celebrity entertainment journalist, which basically means that I spend half my life regarding my reflection in the rearview mirror of my car while crawling along in L.A. traffic on my way to whatever hotel, café or manse the star I’m interviewing is awaiting me. Oh, and I drink a ridiculous amount of coffee and watch way too much TV, mainly in the way of cable, because it’s part of my job requirement and it’s a good way to rationalize not actually doing any writing. In any case, there’s so much good cable out right now it’s hard to resist.

While network generally shies away from the stuff we really want to see – sex, drugs, psychosis, anything subversive and a little off kilter – cable swoops in and provides all that in aces. There’s a reason that white-hot cable shows (think AMC’s Mad Men and Breaking Bad) have surpassed so many of the tepid network offerings in the way of critical kudos and Emmys.

Granted, not every show on cable is a good one. I used to be really into True Blood its first two seasons, but I’m becoming so sick of vampires, I honestly wish they’d all die already (Plus, I interviewed Anna Paquin a year or so ago and she scoffed dismissively when I suggested that vampires were the new penguins). Anyway, the one major thing that truly sucks about cable shows is that most run for only 13 episodes per season, which means that if you fall in love with a show, you could literally get knocked up and birth a child before the next season finally rolls around.

HBO’s Hung is back this season, which was really raw and funny last year and gets props for promoting the notion that a male prostitute with a big dick can also be real softy. Penises are actually a strong theme running throughout a few of my favorite cable TV series.

Showtime’s Californication is returning early this fall, which is one of the smartest, sharpest shows out there. What makes the show really interesting is that it thrusts star and recovering sex addict David Duchovny into a role where art definitely imitates life (He plays a wanton lothario on the show).

And now MTV appeals to the teen crowd with The Hard Times of RJ Berger, about a high school nerd with a huge shlong. And there are lots of other cable shows that feature dick less prominently. In any case, I figure instead of writing anything boring and substantial, I’ll spend my summer watching a bunch of cable eye candy and blogging about what I think. So long for now. Time to watch. More to come tomorrow.

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